Sports Gifts

Taking the dog for a walk.

"Good beard."..."Nice beard."..."Good beard."..."Great beard."..."Good beard."

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

"Mom said Dad pulled a groin playing hockey. When will he realize he's not 60 anymore."

John McEnroe

A medal podium with places for first, second and third is contrasted with a spot at the bar for fourth place.

Too many coxes.

First past the post.

"Let's go slider, fastball, curve, beanball, fight, ejection, shower, beer."

"I'm sorry dear - I've lost the little ball down the little hole again."

"Want to know what I think?"

"There's your problem."

"For security, our signs need to be at least eight characters long."

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.

"Anyone for tennis?"

Sisyphus' baseball game

"Mind if I put on the game?"

'...Then touch your toes twenty times.'

"I love you. We all love you. Now throw some strikes."

'Even if everyone does say you're blind, sir, I still have to examine you myself.'

"Oh, hell."

Xena: Warrior Princess, TV star, professional volleyball player.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Medieval Social Distancing

"Let me just tap this in, Greg, then you can putt out."

'Does a paper cut from a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue count as a sports related injury?'

"Mind if I put the game on?"

"I told him to do that."

Well look, I'm afraid I really must run...

Sportscasters on the Savannah

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'

Silence on the golf course.

"One more game, then we'll get on the ark."

'...and once again we have interruption of play caused by movement behind the bowler's arm.'

"He's got the ball, he's at the 30, the 20, the 10, he's running past the end zone, he's leaving the stadium..."