Sporting Concessionaire Gifts

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

"College basketball recruiters are after him."

Man at computer at sports company wears sweat band on head.

'Maybe we should sign him before the MVP award is announced.'

No Baseball

Currently Boston

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

'Please, Dad? Can we? Can we? Pleeeease?'

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

Yo$mite National Park and Delware North Corporate Greed

Baseball players and their qualifications.

'He's checking with his agent to see if it's okay to score a try!'

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

Professional football.

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

Sports Sponsorship "What do you mean he lost?"

Sign Him.

'Remember Jones, the customer is always right, no matter how stupid and ignorant he may be.'

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Signing cage.

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

'To protect their investments, many baseball owners are hiring bodyguards for their players.'

'And now for some fresh and existing commercials before we get back to our dull, uninteresting, and hum-drum story.'

Footballer Dreaming of the Football as Sack of Money

"As one of the best forwarders in the world you can sign any advertising contract you want, but..."

The Washington Arbitrators

'Now there goes a good Salesman...!'

"This car comes with a chiropractor who helps you to get in and out!"

'Who will make the most money three years from now, athletes or sports agents?'

'If it's alright with your agent, Kolwalski, I'd like to hand the ball off to you.'

'Sale' 'Your money back if we feel like it'

"I want the contract to say that if we win the championship, no one pours champagne on my head."

THE RISE OF WOMEN'S BOXING