Spork Collector Pillows

One out of 10,000 snakes are born with a 'spork' tongue.

'Not sport. It's an old 'spork' injury. I jabbed myself eating mellon balls.'

'Ok, here comes farmer Brown, put these on and remember.......act natural!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

Cow's straw

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"The most I'll splurge on my diet is on a boneless, skinless carrot."

The Tectonics and Their Plates.

'We have three minutes left.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"We can do this the easy way or we can do it the hard way ..."

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

Golfer mistakes a hen's egg for his golf ball.

true love.

"I told you not to invite that guy!"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

"You might want to start bringing more carrots home, dear. I think I have an ingrown hare."

"Oh, Oh, Oooohh!"

'Have a nice day, Dear.'

Old Spice

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

"And I get a really, really tall straw?"

"Hurray! I just got born!"

The Frankenstein snowman.

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'The nice thing is we can use real carrots as incentives with them.'

Red Wine

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

S**t Threw a Goose

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Do you mind if I take a straw?'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"Gesundtheit, Dear."