Spoon Sorcerer Pillows

'Uri Geller's First Job.' 'That's the 20th spoon you've bent today.'

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

'Needs salt!'

Computer Expert

'Well, Frobisher, it's taken a millennium, but thanks to our initial public stock offering, we've finally turned lead into gold.'

Witch's Brew.

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

Kiss the Commander in Chef

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

Windows or Mac?

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Maestro

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'He used to swear by the stock market. Now he swears at it.'

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'A Telegram, M'Lord.'

Stock marketeers shooting each other playfully with guns full of money

"Don't forget, the market will take a sharp downturn on the stroke of midnight."

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"What a midfield wizard!"

'What? When you cross a footballer with a mythical creature? A centaur forward!'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.