Seasoning Sorcerer Pillows

'Needs salt!'

"Oh...and I added some pepper to that soup you're making on the stove."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Maybe if we added some pumpkin spice?"

Cheeze Wiz.

Computer Expert

If Disney was a software company

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

Witch's Brew.

'I've got one week to master this program. The boss is threatening to hire an eight year old.'

Windows or Mac?

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'Then a window popped up and asked, 'Are you sure you want to empty trash?' I shouldn't have clicked 'okeydokey.''

"You think you're so damn Cordon Bleu!"

'Nobody does curses like Gordon Ramsay.'

I mean, do I set the oven at 400'? 450'? How long do I keep them in? Do I turn them halfway through cooking? Oh, if only children came with instructions.

"You'd be amazed how just a little soybean meal adds to the protein content of powdered bats wing and next tails."

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

First aid: A wizard has a bandage on his finger with turban on it.

'What's the situation about new wands these days?' - 'You can't beat 'compare wands.com.'

'Just call me Delia...'

'You can be replaced by Harry Potter, you know!'

'We could use a little sales magic.'

Moments Later, David Blaine Would Be Crushed Into Nothingness.

How did that enchantment go again? Must I spell out everything for you?!

"Sorry we're traveling this weekend."

"He's done it your majesty! He's turned lead into a screenplay!"

"Oh, knock it off! It's only cream of asparagus."

'I don't care WHO started it!'

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

Vegan Voldemort

"Bob’s just finishing the last chapter of his unauthorized autobiography."