Spooky Story Fanatic Pillows

Wife reads 'Hannibal' before going to bed and says "I heard something" to annoyed husband

"Do any of these eyes look like the ones spying on you behind an old mansion painting?"

Love at First Sight

Night of the Latkes

Chiller Theatre

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Out To Lurch

Zombies.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"My great-great-grandfather was forced to flee Europe because of religious persecution."

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"What are you kids going to be for Halloween?"

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

'It's been murder since it was announced that eyes of newt might be a cancer cure.'

"For drinks or dinner?"

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

It's spooky how Amazon can track you down

'Watch out for a very angry witch with a scythe.'

Witches at a cauldron.

'Never accept the first offer, always hold out for more.'

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"At long last we've discovered evidence of a poultrygeist!"

Young Stephen King

"It's the kind of trade you get in a twenty-four-hour-a-day joint."

'The tough part was finding a suitable donor. You know Igor - he means well, but he's never been all that picky.'