Spooky Satire Lover Gifts

"Because Doctor Frankenstein says not to look, that's why!"

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

Headless Horseman

Love at First Sight

Chiller Theatre

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

Ghost puddle

Halloween Support Group

'There's an imposter among us!'

Vampire on a plane

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Witches at a cauldron.

'Watch out for a very angry witch with a scythe.'

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

Happy Halloween. Something's different about her. It's boo!-tox. Every Halloween its the same thing. They take candy off the house and never come to the door. That careless jerk almost trampled me! What was it? The "Heedless" Horseman! I know it's just toilet paper, but as a mummy it still gives me the creeps!

Young Stephen King

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

Hi again

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

Witch Doctor

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Forget it, Lenny. He's on the 'Do-not-Haunt' list."

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

Haunted museum

'Arghhh! He's got no face!'

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

"Wait! First, his attorney."