Quirky Satire Lover Gifts

Cat Annoyed At Mice Developing The Modern Ballistic Missile

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"You left this on our ship."

Crap from the future.

"We have to take that science away from Tommy...he's genetically modified the cat!"

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

Astral Projection

"Sorry sir - the self-propelling pencils have all just walked out..."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

Beckett for Beginners: "Waiting for Thumbkin"

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

Newark by Night. A new Dutch restaurant just opened. What do you know about Dutch cuisine? Nothing. But I'm a big fan of the "Dutch Treat" concept.

He wanted a different one.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

'Can I have flies with that'

'So,,,apparently you're really a dude,'

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

"Daddy is off to work in a data mine."

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

Bureaucracy gone mad!

'It's a giant inkblot on loan from the psychiatrist who owns the unit next door.'