Spooky Satire Lover Pillows

Beheaded ghost says to spook: 'It's just a trial separation.'

Headless Horseman

Love at First Sight

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

It's a new government directive requiring us to be 58% more cheerful within 18 months.

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

'I'm sorry, we don't serve spirits.'

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

Vampire on a plane

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

"Your veins are too narrow. Let me get our in-house specialist to help."

Witches at a cauldron.

'Watch out for a very angry witch with a scythe.'

Young Stephen King

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

'The owner would have shown you around himself, but he doesn't rise untill after sunset.'

"And that's when they left for vacation!"

Haunted museum

"Forget it, Lenny. He's on the 'Do-not-Haunt' list."

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

Little Van Helsing was dissapointed that, again, there was no monster under the bed or in the closet.

"Wait! First, his attorney."

The Headless Horseman claims his luggage.

'Come on kids - it's just a story!'

'We've got to stop him watching Robert Peston.'

'Oooh, looks like the welcome wagon is on its way!'