Split Personality Aficionado Pillows

'...we're waiting for Mr. Hyde's character witness, Dr. Jekyll, to appear.'

"We’ve nailed guitar-solo-face. Time to try playing instruments."

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

"I have 25 patients in my counselling group...Mrs Sherman, Mr Martin, and Mr Martins 23 other personalities."

Jeff Tweedy caricature.

"He'd make a wonderful main character for a short story, but I wouldn't put up with him for an entire novel."

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

Romulus (left) and Remus

"Look on the dark side."

The reserved and the go-ers.'

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'You are very deer to me.'

'Hamster Swat Team.'

How to injury yourself as an adult

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

Doctor Jekyll as a child.

"...so you'll finish it off with a felt tip."

'Before I met you, I didn't know any of the sitcom characters by their first names,'

How the planets of the solar system are known to their friends

'Of course you're my first - Why do you men always ask that question?'

"The one on the left is Mary-Kate, the one on the right is Ashely. Beware them both."

'I love you and my hair loves you.'

Carbon Dating

Man convinced by a flattering character sketch

Bee Introvert