Spit Roast Enthusiast Pillows

"Uh oh, is that a spit roaster the farmer is putting together?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

'Our guest tonight certainly needs no introduction.'

"A little lamb please."

'You can't have a drumstick because this is roast beef.'

"Honey, I’ll take over. The stir-fry has suffered long enough."

Chicken

'Your previous work experience... surely you jest.'

'I don't hassle you about YOUR comfort foods.'

'I'd take that with a pinch of salt if I thought the council could spare any.'

'Sorry but my disposable income is tied up in a roast in the oven.'

'Jonah, I sentence you to six months in whale...'

"Excuse me, this is the work table."

'I come from a long line of Sunday roasts...'

"The pork chops were dry and unseasoned."

"Even our job has its own small mercies."

'Do you mind popping back in, to rescue the Sunday joint?'

All sizzle and no roast

"You're right. This is much better than putting the old calendar in the trash."

'Did you remember to stuff the chicken?' 'I didn't have to. It was full already.'

Items From the Jay Leno Fan Club

'I have lots of experience. I was a loan shark for a decade.'

'Stand by, we have temporary loss of your roast.'

'That reminds me - we're having a pig roast next Saturday!'

Lanes Closed for Spite

"Yeah, it's a modified super-soaker: a spit-soaker!"

Non-Celebrity Roast

Teacher sees sign on Teacher's Lounge door reading 'No Spitball Zone'.