Spirituality In Business Pillows

"Alert all staff I'll be preaching the gospel of profit in the conference room at 11:30."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

'T.M.I.F.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

reincarnated worm...

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

Turn, turn and turn.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Ghostwriting the Bible

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'