Spirituality & Humor Fan Gifts

"I know he said two of each, but I'm telling you bring back three of each and I'll fire up the grill."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

Dogma

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

'Turn the other cheek, reverend.'

"Dearly beloved, and others..."

"I was kind of hoping just to tell them what they want to hear...."

Om and Ommer

"Holy moly!"

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

Pope Kimba XXIII.

"Blessed are they who blow out birthday cakes candles, for they shall be de-lighted."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

"He's highly qualified to be our new associate pastor but he wants all weekends and holidays off - the same days I want off."

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

Male On Sunday

Three Parent Baby

'Forty years! How come that other guy got away with forty days and forty nights?'

God asks an angel for change for a tower viewer.

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

Sister Helena became the "ruler" of the Sisters of Christ the King Penguin

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"In heaven there are no trees."

"My Name is I AM, and I approve of this message."

"T.G.I.F."

Hymns - Optional Extras

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Rex and the Ten Commands

"Are you sure the chicken soup was kosher? A guy inside said it's the last supper he'll be eating here."

"When we get to the promised land I never want to even see a piece of mann again for as long as I live."

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"