Spiritual Warriors Gifts

"Help this athlete grow bigger and stronger, so that when he goes into the ring, he can beat the brains our of his opponent."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I hope you won't repent afterwards, Vicar, It's a devilishly hot vindaloo!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Monk Prompt

"Do you have an appointment?"

"I was saying a silent prayer, but I must have dozed off and talked in my sleep."

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

Nun Binning the Devil

'I'm just going to say my prayers. Any requests?'

"Are our prayers answered whether we have an iphone or an android?"

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

'No, I didn't get a presidential pardon, but I got something better. God has forgiven me.'

'I guess you've noticed that most of these trespasses are reruns.'

"We would have won if it hadn't been for the other team."

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Oh, it's you, I'm glad I picked up.You wouldn't believe how many annoying telepathicmarketing calls I get."

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

'Come off it-she only said the guys will be fighting over us because you said we lived UNDER a boxing club!'

"The meaning of life, eh? Beats me... Let's google it."

Sport, Political, Religious and New Yorker Cartoonist Gurus.