Spiritual Troubleshooters Pillows

Computer tech support sacred offering

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Christian and Born again Christian...

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

The Path

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Did you have a cat?"

"All the celebrities come here."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

'My diagnostic software is acting up. It says you are pregnant.'