Spiritual Themes Gifts

"For the last time, stop saying 'Let's just wing it'!"

'You dance divinely!'

'Don't feel too badly about your post, I used to work for the News of the World.'

The lost and found in heaven has a lot of missing halos.

'Duckworth, isn't it? I thought I told you to go to blazes!'

"Any other questions?"

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"How can you be out of wings?"

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Good game."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Break his third chakra!" "Knock the dharma out of him!"

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'T.M.I.F.'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

reincarnated worm...

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

Turn, turn and turn.

Priest's 'To do' list.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

"Oh, we're not religious. We only go on the solstices and equinoxes."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'