Spiritual Musings Gifts

'Born again bees

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Mental baggage, a brain with a handle for easy carrying.

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

Big Medium

'Do you ever wish the Big Bang would have been just a little bigger?'

'I'd like to enlighten you, but what if you're just illusory?'

"Don't worry, it's nothing."

'Every time I go on an ego trip, I get hijacked by terrorists!'

'I've found a good book...'

"Is that before or after tax?"

We just assumed everyone knew they couldn't take it with them.

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

'You're dead. But don't worry ? it sounds a lot worse than it is.'

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

'Nobody believes a word I say!' 'Oh, come now!'

'If there is an unlimited supply of something....mortality is that it make our time finite....I think I'll poop on this guy's head.'

'If God tells you what to say in your sermon, why do you make so many corrections?'

'I see your future investing in a fortune telling business!'

'I keep thinking about teaching.'

Other things squirrels gather in the winter.

"Omniscient?? - I think you're confusing me with google. . .!"

Palmist Alarmist - Uh ooooh!

'Mystic Ken sees your future in the stars.'

'I see money. . . I see more money. . . I see a woman.'

'I'm writing a sequel to my autobiography.'

'My husband won't miss me 'til he runs out of clean underwear.'

"Well, I suppose it's time to acknowledge that Jesus was the glue of this friendship group."

"Tell me more about this inferiority complex."

Nethead strip: Psycho analyst

"If your faith is so strong, why did you rush to the E.R. instead of your church?"

"What's a polite but firm way of letting them know I don't like modern architecture?"

'Good question. Dear, which came first, the birds or the bees?'

"When she gets back, don't mention we were talking. They hate it when we cut out the middleman."