Spiritual Journeys Gifts

"If I knew the meaning of life, would I be sitting in a cave in my underpants?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

"That's the dating guru."

"It all started many years ago, my son, when I began to play 'King of the Mountain'."

"No. I am afraid Accountants will never be cool."

'I don't know - asceticism just doesn't seem like ENOUGH any more,'

"How does one experience the ultimate selfie? Swallow your cell phone."

"There she is! The Holy Bubbha!"

"The Meaning of Life is to take advantage of opportunities."

"No, this isn't Mt. Sinai..."

Fortune Cookies

"At long last! My search for self is over!"

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'

"Wait a minute - Where's the fire escape?"

'Where is the perfect wave? Well, it's certainly not up here.'

"What? Oh great! - You bozos made me forget what I was meditating about!"

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

The only way to see the world is to see the world

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'No, really, go ahead. You know me - I'm all about the journey, not the food pellet!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'You must heal yourself.'

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.