Spiritual Humor Fan Prints

"And one more thing: you don't get to pardon yourself."

"Today's sermon is based on the story of Cain and Abel, or as I like to call it, CSI: Eden..."

Meditating cat. 'Hi! You have reached the 4th state of consciousness. We're not in right now...

"Don't sit under the Bodhi Tree with anyone else but me."

You don't need to say "now I've seen everything" all the time. We get the whole omniscient thing.

'Every time one door closes, another one opens. Can you fix it?'

'Yes, I am God. Got a problem with that?'

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'No, I heard you snoring -- you just dreamed that you attained Nirvana.'

Priest

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

"OMG, LOL!"

At the 2021 Religious Games

Dogma

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."

Guru.

"Seriously, I used to be the staff of a guy named Moses, man the stories I could tell..."

"That's our new church mascot."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Please take your receipt!'

Praying mantis.

Single Prayer Health Insurance

R.C.I.A.

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Praying Mantis.

'Right now I'm counting the blessings that we owe to Uncle Sam.'

Paul was Generally Considered the Cutest Apostle

'What are you giving up for Lent this year?' - 'Anchovies.' - 'I thought you hated anchovies?' - 'I do. Care for a cookie instead?' - 'Lent is supposed to be about challenge and sacrifice!' - 'Play to win, Baby!'

Regifts of the Magi

The Vatican's undercover mission to Antarctica, and some endangered penguins.