Spiritual Geeks Gifts

Church window shaped computer monitor.,

Jesus Saves

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

"I'm going on a retreat."

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'He says he's tried sending you tweets but his cell phones keep melting.'

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?"

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

'Guide us, oh Webmaster.'

Holy phone

"I really gotta turn off these notifications."

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

". . . and don't forget to like and subscribe to my channel. Amen."

You Have 1 New Messages

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

"The gods must be on-line tonight."

'Today's sermon may seem a little incoherent -- my 'Preach-o-Mat' program crashed.'

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

Palm Top Readings

'Throw them out of the Garden of Eden - THAT'LL provide the proper economic incentives!:

"I'm going to India to find myself..."

Confession plugged up to an amp.

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.

'If your guru business is slow, do what I did. Get a professional website presence on the Internet. That's how you found me, right?'

www.meditation.commm

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

No Connection.