Spiritual Friend T-Shirts

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Priest

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

"All the celebrities come here."

Buddhist photo albums,

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

'What is the meaning of poorly attended staff meetings.'

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."