Spiritual Friend Pillows

'Are we there yet? Huh? Have we achieved Nirvana yet? Huh, have we?'

'Osgood was a theologian back on Earth, and he thought all this stuff would be allegorical.'

"Landscapes are nice but have considered painting still lifes?...maybe apples?"

"So, all this talk about appealing to our better angels..."

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"It's a long way to Enlightenment. You might need some cash."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Priest

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

'The secret to great wealth and spiritual contentment? Ok, hold on...I think I've got an app for that..'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

'I'll be back in three or four months - Hold that thought.'

"'Procreate'! I've climbed all this way to hear that the meaning of life is 'procreate'?!"

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"All the celebrities come here."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

The spirit in the wall would go on and ond, but Alvin never let it bother him.

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

“Just one question...how on earth do I get down?!?”

Buddhist photo albums,

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Book of Life, Answers in Back.

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

"Welcome aboard - That'll be your work station over there."

"If the headline screams catastrophe, but nobody cares to read it, does it still make a sound?"

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'