Religious Friends Pillows

'Last week's sermon was supposed to be about Plagues, but I got the flu.'

'My son was nailed to the cross and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Wildlife

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

"Don't worry, they normally look like little humans during the early scans."

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

The Henderson's move to a vertical city took some getting used to.

Gifts for a cloned baby!

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

'Due to the poor response to the roof repair fund we cannot afford to lift the rafters when rejoicing in song.'

SALE

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Dear Wendy, please excuse the tardiness of my response to your recent tweet from Hoboken."

Fish hunting for men.

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

The Tightrope Balancing Act of Home Ownership and Interest Rates.

'Oh no, it's the Burkes! You stall them here while I go fix my hair and don't let them roam around. Remember, once you have cockroaches in your kitchen, you'll never get rid of them.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

"How long is it since you took Benji for a walk?"