Spin Buster Pillows

'Embedded Journalist.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

The Department of Blind-Side Bias, Knowledge Gaps and Really Great Coffee.

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

The Expert

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

"He really hates all the fake news!!"

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'It's getting harder to tell when the news stops and the spin begins.'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

"I think glamour is fine until it slips over into glitz."

"Here are today's political campaign numbers: spin is up 10%, truth is down 5%, flip flops up 20%..."

Office of the PR of the United States

"I work in PR where I provide a dynamic and highly effective bespoke service that can work for you and blah blah blah ..."

Holy Ronald Reagan. Do you see who's come into the cafe? Reagan? No, it's Johnny Spinwell. The king of spin! Who? Consultant to politicians, stars, lawyers, corporate execs. No one finds the bright side like Johnny. Pea brain, you stepped on my toe. I got your circulation going to save your heart.

'But on the positive side, money can't buy happiness - so who cares?'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Tony Blair and Blairwash.

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"Fake it till you make it, baby."

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

"We're looking for someone just like you but with testicles."

"Whatever the results you get from an election it's important to be able to present them in the best possible light..."

Killing Santa

'This is Miss Pavlovna — she's our new Vice-President in charge of spin control.'

"Ever read about a politician who didn't need the press?"

Now I'd like to depart from my prepared text and speak from the heart...

"It isn't just the media that's biased... often the voters are too."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"