Spin Wizard Pillows

Have our P.R. people do a report on the beneficial effects of cyanide on river life.

'Our village cricket club' - Young spinner cleverly positions the field to take a wicket.

"They're padded shorts: yes, your butt looks big."

"A huge breakthrough from our research and development team. . . they've figure out a way to fool all of the people all of the time!"

"After you hear my spin it won't seem nearly as bad!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Natural Disasters

Instructional guide to scribbling

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

Danae's Career Plans: 'The major product manufactured today is punditry, so I'm honing my argumentative skills to work my way to the top of the blow hard industry..my goal is to become a spin ninja...'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

"This realm isn't big enough for both of our killer outfits."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

'There are two types of alchemy - there's organic and there's inorganic.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

"What a load of hocus-pocus!"

"I was doing well in school and planning to be a computer programmer - but somewhere along the way I must have taken a wrong turn."

“Pottery Classes – Give it a Whirl!”

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

'That's the new guy. He writes our 'shuck-and-jive' press releases.'

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

Remember, honey, abracadabra doesn't work anymore. Now it's command, option, shift.

'Well OF COURSE I rotate the tires! How do you think I got here?'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'It has been revealed that a senior politician will criticise something in a speech. Later they will criticise the opposite of something, just in case.'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

The Truth

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'