Spicy Story Lover Pillows

'I can't go out with you Vince, I'm married now...but check back with me next year.'

Love at First Sight

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

Chiller Theatre

Kid to mom: 'Tell me again about the time you helped fortress a city, subdue hostile fire and got home and baked us all raspberry strudels.'

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'The Burrito King.'

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"I just never 'think I can' anymore."

"I'm trying to forget a pussycat."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Ghost puddle

"What did Jesus order?"

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Toys were me: lessons learned never growing up

Halloween Support Group

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Now here's a tale that'll make you hair stand on end"

'I don't know who you are stranger, but if you mess with big Gus you'll be in your coffin by dawn!'

"Did you order the flying jalapeños?"

Ghost frightens the photo booth.

'There's an imposter among us!'

Queen says: 'Mirror, mirror, on the wall ... 'It's all so subjective' is not an acceptable answer.'

'And all the executive board members got lovely big payouts and lived happily ever after!'

'Pirate's Cove is about a half mile down the beach.'

Witches at a cauldron.

"The Ugly Duckling didn't know why he was so attracted to swan culture."

'I thought you were going for a walk in the woods. Your porridge has been cooling on the table for hours! '