Spending Shielder Gifts

'Transfer every penny from my joint account to a safe deposit box until Thursday when the sales finish!'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

"Hey, honey, the credit card company increased our debt... I mean our credit limit!"

Piggy bank #5: carrying (colour).

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

Keep the econoimy moving

Workers are running out of one door labeled 'Reactive Business Intelligence,' while another worker in the next room sits calmly behind a door with a sign that reads, 'Proactive Business Intelligence.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

Pig's Human Bank

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"I don't mind out of control spending as long as it's on stuff I like."

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'I want you stop referring to our grant as 'The Big Dipper.''

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

'Do you have any coupons?'

Med. Soc Sec. Can we agree on anything to reduce the deficit other than a bake sale?

'She had just rung her husband and he'd said 'buy them all'!'

Wealth AcquisitionWealth ManagementSince You Can't Take it with you, Spend it.

"Fiscal conservatism be damned. I'm a fiscal hedonist."

Cutting corners can cost money.

"Say aaargh!" (Dentist presents his bill to a patient).

"...and the farmers - what would they do without me?...wait, don't answer that!"

Don't take my money.

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

If you don't see what you want, buy something you don't want!

"What happened to consumer confidence?"