Spelling Test Strategist Gifts

'No, I DON'T want to make a side bet on the spelling test!'

"Eventually, you have to stop visualizing yourself doing well on the test, and actually do the test."

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

"How do you spell, asteroid?"

"I think contests are good, but instead of a "find the typos" contest, you should get someone to read your text."

"By the way, does anything other than 'trouble' rhyme with 'bubble'?"

"I lost the spelling bee on the word 'gangsta.' "

"Melisa! - Your spelling is atrocious!"

"Anybody know how to spell anarchy?"

"Eye of newt, wing of bat, blah blah blah, here's one I made earlier."

Maid revealing that the judge uses a dictionary when writing

'Are you sure brook is misspelled'

"I'm not good with letters."

"Don't drink that, it's hand santizer."

Men, there is no I in team! Seriously. I just got a text from your English professor, so go ahead and fix that in the playbook I handed out. (Pulished originally on March 6, 2010.)

"Dude, you wrote bear arms not bare arms!!"

'You spelt dog wrong.'

Wordplay: Carelessness.

Independant Spelling Consultant.

'I can't read this, you must write more clearly.' - 'If I did that, you'd see all my spelling mistakes.'

'If she switches to essay tests none of us will ever be the same.'

'Therapist is one word George!'

'But Dr johnson ov wat yuse wil thsi dicshunary ov yors be?'

"Hardscrabble"

'She's a good coach, and the kids seem to like her. But I still think someone should at least run a background check.'

''Whom has mis-spelt millennium.' He said, for he had been to night school.'

"Incorrect. The correct spelling is M-U-T-A-N-T."

Dyslexic Doomsayers.

Spelling for Dumbies.

"You'll have to start again - you've missed out an 'I'."

'They're words, Billy, assembly required.'

"Who teaches apostrophe usage?"

Santa advertising for Elvis.