Spelling Aficionado T-Shirts

"Hardscrabble"

Acme Spelling Bee Company

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

Punt Cake

'Hello, Acme signs? This is the Berger & Coles Law Office...'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"Nuts to you, too."

Kardiff.

AA Meeting Here Today

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

The americanisation of vulture.

"A whack, whack here. A whack, whack there. Here a whack, there a whack. Everywhere a whack, whack."

"Privates Beach"

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

'Poll results are in...90% of Americans can't spell Schwarzenneger.'

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

"When the company announced that they're gonna move our retirement accounts down to Mexico, I was like '401 Que Pasa?'"

"Didn't you just say that?"

"I’ve heard of them barking at the moon, but never scatting at the sun."

"Fresh pepper spray?"

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

"You have word-ill."

Businessman sees sign in window of 'Fred's Chili Bowl' restaurant: 'Now Hiring a Bean Counter'.

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

"I must insist on my lawyer present."

Punkins

Two vending machines for fisherman: 'Live Bait' next to 'Dead as a Doornail Bait'

Laxatives - "I'm after some comic relief."

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Floppo' lottery rebranding

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'