Speedy Traveler T-Shirts

'To be honest, Fred, the tour was so fast that I won't know exactly where we went until the credit card bill arrives.'

Easter Island legs

"The GPS works great, we have satellite TV installed, the Sirius stereo sounds fantastic and our every move is tracked by Qualcomm. But could you turn around? I left me iphone at the house. . ."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Airline Debts: Layoffs to help us stay afloat.

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

Tourists in Egypt

Child on an airplane wearing a shirt with a switch that says "Airplane mode"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

A tourist watches a television on the back of a donkey

Rock - see you in a million years!

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Vaccination Passport

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

'Calm down...it's probably just another mirage.'

Welcome Ghost.

Mad For It

"You've traveled all this way just to score some pot? Okay—How much do you want?"

'It's a great job, but the commuting is murder!'

'I thought I'd never say this, but I think we might've traveled too far this time!'

'Anything to declare?'

'And upon landing the pilot will give everyone in first class a hug.'

Miniature Trailer on Desert Island

A guy fills up his camel with H2O in the desert.

Of course, Hal rented a car with economy gps.

Notice to travelers: 'Delayed' is the New 'on time'.

Bev puts on an old favorite

Free WiFi

'I told you you should have bought a sat nav...!'

"I have this nagging feeling we've forgotten something..."

'You know, you remind me of me when I first started here.'

English man in Australia during christmas

'I usually fly first class but it doesn't compare to this super-duper, extra special, state-of-the-art, WOW class.'