Speedy Snail Gifts

'Stress'

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

The Zoo.

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Snail Man

"I'm a monster."

Running Latte

Snail Mail

'Never put off till tomorrow something you can put off till the day after tomorrow...'

On holiday...

Transylvanian Snails.

"It's not a real company, it's a shell company."

Emergency Firebreaker

He's under house arrest. Police Line. Do Not Cross.

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

Coffee Overload: 'I'll have a low fat soy latte, no sugar, two biscotti...make that a Columbian-Kenyan bean bend...oh make it snappy, I'm in a hurry!'

"No more ice cream cakes."

"What do you mean you want to slow things down?"

"Slimey, what a lovely name."

Whatever ran over the poor guy really left some marks. Tape measure.

The Sports Fanatic

A bunch of snails are in an office slacking off on their work . A co worker snail says:' Just a heads up. . .Jenkins is heading this way with a salt shaker!'

'Are you responsible for this?'

"I don't get it, everybody talks about 'working from home' as if it's something new."

"I'm singing in the rain, I'm singing in the rain..."

Snail Peephole

Emo Snail

'To be honest, Fred, the tour was so fast that I won't know exactly where we went until the credit card bill arrives.'

I can hardly watch …

Spiro & Pusho go hunting.

"Come on! It's the final lap!"

"You, more than anyone, should understand the concept of social distancing."

'We're curious as to why you claimed double the amount of miles you slithered for business purposes over the last two tax years?'

'After years of cheating on his tax, Andrew is finally hit by a Tax-Slug...'

Laurel and Tardy