Racing Snail Fan Gifts

A snail with motor racing helmet and spoiler

Cat rolls up yarn like power cord.

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

"If you think I ride too fast, Susan...just say so!"

The polar olympics

"I've invested in property..."

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'It's supposed to look and smell greasy.'

'Everyone's in a rush these days!'

Formula One car origami

'Stress'

Hammer Thrower - "Let go of it!"

"My grandson said I was "woke" but I'm 90% certain I didn't even nod off"

He's under house arrest. Police Line. Do Not Cross.

Snail with pc monitor.

'I think he wants you to play ball!'

The Bagel Wheel Derby.

Centaur Sprinter

Pig Trotter

'It's great to get away from the rat race!'

'I was this close to the finish line and then somebody threw a stick!'

Oceanographer

'I havn't finished last years Marathon yet...'

Snail Love.

"I wish you wouldn't keep going 'Vroom, Vroom'!"

'I think I'm just coming up to the finishing line, Dear.'

'I believe you were first.'

Daily News Headline Dept. Editor. Here's a story about a guy who shaved his race horse to cut wind resistance, and the horse got a terrible sunburn. "A pony shaved is a pony burned"!

'Let her go, Mary! She was probably just kidding about your leaping ability.'

'They're halfway through the six-meter dash. At this pace, the winner should break the world record by at least 24 hours!'

Racing pit crew member holds sign for driver: Stop And Ask For Directions.

Plastic Brits: 'Apprehend that fleetfooted alien and naturalise him for Team GB!'

'I give you an inch, Stanley, and you take a MILE. Whatever a mile is?'

An snail shell with a chimney