Speedy Heaven Navigator Gifts

A man gets through the pearly gates with an E-Z Pass.

Airlines

'When I grow up, I'm either going to be an authority figure or an unimpeachable source.'

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

'St. Joseph's Church,today's sermon, the road to heaven (free maps)'

"On time arrival...check. Paid for drinks...check. Made pleasant conversation...check. Didn't stare at mole...check."

'God, quick! Give me the gift of the gab.'

'Geez, what's with the delay?'

SOE (South Of Earth)

Surfing alien.

'Great escapism, Reverend!'

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

'Listen son-if God had wanted us to fly he would have given us air tickets.'

"There's got to be an easier way to lie around the house."

Hot air ballon, but with the ballon replaced by a thought bubble.

Arrow Church

'There it is. Just above Orion's Pants.'

Yahweh/Your Way

'Try to keep the number of your landings equal to the number of your takeoffs!'

FAA man letting planes out of bird cage

'I helped write the new tax code and even I don't understand it.'

'Lost your luggage again, Mr. Rizzi? Wow, that enables you to join our 'Frequent Lost Luggage Club'!'

"I just spotted the brightest star. . . I'm Sirius!"

"Stacy, Tom thinks you've been acting distance since you became a flight attendant."

The Paranormal Society...

"Come on guys, it's only a training flight, and it's just such a nice day! What about taking the long way home?"

Heavenly Ships

"We must be in the wrong wing."

Power pack water jet pilot in trouble.

'And how many frequent flyer miles do you have?'

Setting Cabin Temperature