Speed Walking Gifts

"Speed reader...?"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

"You can't compare apples and oranges because oranges have longer legs."

'What was that?!' 'A 'Mach'-ing bird.'

"WOW...this new bike has great acceleration!"

'Geoffrey's kit car can go from nought to upside down in under nine seconds.'

'God's speed.'

'The kids want a new motto: instead of 'slow but sure' they've come up with 'fast and funky'.'

"Does it ever cross your mind that we make a lot of money because no one else wants to do what we do?"

'Nobody wants to play tag with me at school: They say I'm too fast...'

Life in the fastest lane.

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

"I wish he'd slow the hell down." "I wish he'd hurry the hell up."

"You were going 24,998 in a 24,955!"

'I should have listened to my Mum, she always said, 'Never underestimate how fast a zebra can run'.'

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

'Look after your feet, always wear a prophylactic and never travel faster than 300mph on water!' SAGE WORDS FROM SIR DONALD CAMPBELL!

'He's so fast he has to stop to clean the insects off his glasses.'

What the sign said: 60 max. What you saw: Go man!

'I guess we both enjoy long slow walks together.'

Mildred takes a shortcut to the shops. . .

But officer, I am supposed to be the fastest animal on earth!

"I'm not criticizing, Frank. I just don't consider 'relationships are built on trust' an epiphany."

Geez, this is gonna take forever! Turtle Funerals.

'I ran the mile in two minutes. I took a short cut.'

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

Pedestrian parking only.

Speed enforced by really slow walkers.

'But isn't it nice to know you can go 2500 miles per hour in a pinch?'

"Aren't you glad now that you suggested we get a hobby that would bring us closer together?"

'Jogging's too dangerous for me. I tried it once, and I rear-ended a mailman.'

"I shamble five miles every day."

'You need more exercise Mrs Pilchard. Why don't you take my dog for his walk?'