Speed Limit Comedian T-Shirts

"You were doing 10 knots over the limit."

"I need to tinkle."

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

'You wanted a speedy trial, so I'm sentencing you to a swift kick.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

"Hey! Buddy! This is an interdimensional 4/3π way stop!"

'Let him go. We'll catch him in the backstretch. Hippos can run faster than humans, but only in short bursts.'

Give Way To Cyclists

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

"Drat! A flat tyre. . ."

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'A metal plate in your head does not qualify as a helmet.'

'We learned one thing today - NO parking on the yellow lions!'

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'

'When is everyone else going to be driven off the road?'

"Over the speed limit, are you sure?"

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't pleas insanity.'

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

"The test calls for a pirouette, sir. Arabesques don't really tell us enough."

"Where's the red cape, pal?"

'Look dad! - Mercedes bends!'

'Why do they call it the school RUN Mummy?'

'There's a delay on the expressway: A truck loaded with peanut butter is spread across three lanes causing a traffic jam.'

Salt flats - 100mi. Low sodium salt flats - 150mi.