Driving Comedian T-Shirts

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

I take it back - He's not writing a text and driving, he's illustrating a text and driving.

"I need to tinkle."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

It's only firing on 87 cylinders!

'Well, the good news is; You won't need to tax and insure it.'

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

'It's a Volksvegan...it runs on vegetable oil!'

'Beware of SUV.'

"This is Siri. No, you're not there yet!"

If a motorist came bursting through the doors...would he be up for damages?

'Congratulations. You've passed.'

For every dog who gets the window seat, there's Steve, the designated driver.

Riding instructor waits to fish a child out of jumping obstacle.

"Your new car won't start? Oh, well, umm…that's just the car's Collision Avoidance System kicking in. It doesn't want you to hit anything today."

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'

Danger: Reading warning signs costs lives.

Australian Sat Nav - 'Straight on mate'.

Speed Checked By Radar.

Installing one of the new 'Buck Bridges' reduced Bob's auto insurance by 21%.

Pine tree driving a truck with a human-shaped air freshener hanging off the mirror

'Why can't you ride under the dash like other airbags?'

My car idles well! It learned a lot from you!

"I've caught you not stopping at a red light."

Driver with a rear view mirror attached to his forehead.

Shouldn't you clean the windscreen?

Parking? I don't think so.

'This model runs on antibiotics.'

'I've been glamped!'

It's just until I stop chasing cars.

'I don't need a computer to tell me I failed to fasten my seat belt or release the emergency brake.'

"Check your mirrors. Signal before pulling into traffic. And watch that lead foot!"

'Until 1989 I never had an accident...then I bought a car.'

The Magician world's version of Fluffy dice.

'Surely you can't book me for laughing, officer'