Speech Skeptic T-Shirts

The Westminster Load-of-Hot-Air-Conditioner

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

Dialogue

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

Alternative Medicine

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

"God works in mysterious ways."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'This book thing, Mum, where do I plug it in?'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

Dove of Peace and Free Speech

William Pitt the Elder

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'