Speech Fanatic T-Shirts

'This guy loves giving stump speeches. Ironically, they're all against deforestation.'

"I know I have the body of a weak and feeble woman but, hang on a minute, I'm pretty sure I have the heart and stomach of a king, too..."

When a speaker says '...to make a long story short,' you've already been there 3 hours.

Politician

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"We need to do something about excessive admin. I want you to fill out one of these forms every time you think you're doing some."

Changing Minds

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Now that I can talk, here's my speaking fee."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

Hanging off every word...

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

MLK

"Simplified application form? . . . This IS the simplified application form!"

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

'Right so lets be clear, when you said my book was a turgid reworking of a sad collection of hackneyed ideas you actually meant that it was a groundbreaking work of originality and genius...'

'He spoke his first words today Serge - 'ello. . . ello. . . ello'!'

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

'Sir, you inaugural speech is simply wonderful. I would just suggest you say 'dear employees' instead of 'hey, you bunch of lousy slaves'.'

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

'Vote for me because my Super PAC raised lots more money than my opponent's Super PAC.'

'Vote for me. I'm ready, and willing. Two out of three isn't bad.'

Time for speeches

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Do your thing, Phil...lull them into submission."