Speculative Science Gifts

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Alternative Medicine

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

Dog phrenology

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

Science deniers Soc.

"Dad just told me a weird stork story. He must be a creationist."

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Documentation Please

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."