Speculative Science Gifts

"All in all, I'd say it's a pretty convincing explication of chaos theory."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

Alternative Medicine

'Look on the bright side; you got out of that stock before it became...unstable.'

Dog phrenology

'A 'D' in physics and biology, an 'A' in reading aloud. What will ever become of this kid?'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

"My name's Edwin, and I'm addicted to risk."

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'

"If we evolved from stupid people, why are there stupid people still around?"

'Einstein's theory of negativity'

"Mr Newton, we have carefully reviewed your work in alchemy and have come to one conclusion: stick to physics.'

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'I'm a 100% consistent investor. I buy bonds when I should buy stocks when I should buy bonds.'

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

In a career limiting move, Reginald decided to give Albert's latest theory some frank and fearless feedback.

"If they de-regulate this place, we wouldn't have to do all those boring scientific tests."

'I was born with math immunity, so I'm special. I know that.'

Two plus two equals five. I don't think so. The earth is flat, or maybe it's shaped like a fish. Huh? Many Republican candidates don't believe in evolution!!! Math, science -- who needs 'em really. That's what I said in high school.

"What I like about intelligent design is that it explains everything will proving nothing."

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"I totally meant to do that."

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

GOP presidental candidates on science!: 'Billions for astrollogers! Zero for astronomers!' s

Today's Topic: "Intelligent Design." Do you believe in "intelligent design"? I did until I met you.

"Huh! Never a miracle vaccine when you want one - then three come along at the same time - bloody typical!"

Science deniers Soc.

Documentation Please

"For Feng Shui I'd like to move your liver above your lungs.''

Doing Something About the Weather

'It's just a conspiracy by scientists to get funding.'

"Recent studies now show that people who use the aphorism ‘whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have compromised immune systems."