Spectacle Stylist Pillows

'I think your intraocular pressure is very high.'

'Man, when was the last time you had your eyes tested?'

'You really need to think about getting glasses.'

"In your case I think glasses would work better than contact lenses..."

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Checking new spectacles.

'You really do need new glasses'

'Better,much better...but do you think I could have some different frames?'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

'Well he wanted the cheapest frames we had in stick and the texta was handy!'

"The side lenses will help you maintain visual acuity when looking askance."

"What a lovely portrait!"

'The spots are much clearer.'

'Wearing glasses stops the boys from hitting me, and the girls from kissing me.'

'You'll need a while to get used to them.'

Back on the mound after succesful Elton John surgery.

'Make sure they fit straight'

Reading between the Lines.

"Don't be silly, Wendy...who would make fun of such cute glasses?"

Hey, two eyes!

Reading Over your Shoulder

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Bad hair day!

People in the mirror may be more attractive than they appear.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

Pashminas are sooo noughties!

The Stat-shoe of Liberty.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Pampered and poodled.

Shoe addict.

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

My Bangs: A Play in 5 Acts