Spectacle Specialist Gifts

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

Henry proudly models his new goggles that prevent him from losing a contact lens.

"Last week I spent thousands replacing every window in our house...then I discovered a crack in my glasses..."

Eye care centre: check out our baby boomer bifocal special.

'He stopped to clean the bugs off his glasses.'

'The latest trend in Optometry - social networking, Eyebook.'

Magnifying glass on Oculist's sign.

"The moment you walked through that door, I could tell you needed glasses."

Ophthalmologist

"We decided after the fourth pair of glasses that it was time to visit the optometrist."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Felix Mendelssohn

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Sew on a sequin!

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I'm not going to try and sugarcoat this..."

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

'Well, I suppose it makes a change from powerpoint presentations...'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

'The spots are much clearer.'

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"