Spectacle Specialists Gifts

'Nobody move! I've lost a contact.'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Felix Mendelssohn

"Three weeks until the pitch, LOADS of time!"

'You've orbited the Earth in a NASA spacecraft! Wow! Me, I've jumped over the Moon...'

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Wow, your mane looks fantastic! New conditioner?"

Sew on a sequin!

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"I told you not to polish the car too much."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

'No cheating'

'So much for the 'Eye of the Tiger'.'

"For centuries scientists have wanted to develop a method to help ants feel like cowboys. Today that quest is at an end."

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

The public was right

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Now that's what I CALL a spectacle case.'

'I've taken the liberty of simplifying the latest data.'

"Hey, you've fixed the telly too!"

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'The spots are much clearer.'

'Didn't I tell you to take up some hobby other than opera?'

Matador.

"... And how long have you had this total fixation with T.V.?"

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

Checking new spectacles.

'An optician was having a closing down sale...I got the last pair!'

The Kink and I