Spectacle Sensation Pillows

"So how to you know I'm an optician?"

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

The First Fire Stick

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Wolf Karaoke

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

The circus diver.

"If there is no more American Idol what am I going to do to become famous?"

The latest in Eyewear.

"When you promised me 'a set of wheels', I assumed a company car."

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

'No cheating'

Casting Director

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

Ventriloquist Audition

The public was right

Footballer playing for time

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Barihunk

Matador.

'What happened to the guy with the harmonica?'

Karaoke! - Fri: With Irony, Sat: Without.