Stage Sensation Pillows

"This next song's about our desperate struggle to please and chronic craving for approval. I really, really hope you like it."

At Astley's

Casting Director

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

Mic drop

"I didn't want to tell you like this, but I'm going solo..."

'It was George's first time on top of the bill.'

Ballet Beggar.

'That's not the sort of request I meant, Madam, and anyway it's physically impossible!'

'Stop worrying. You're a cow. People love cows.'

Girl Band, "I wish you'd tell your mum we don't need her in the group!"

Can can dancer.

'No you idiot! You're supposed to smash your guitar AFTER the show! What are you going to play now?'

"I take it you got the lead in the school play."

"After the show, I'll be autographing any computer or phone screens where my albums are streamed."

'I love appearing on stage. My only regret is that I can't be in the audience to fully appreciate my work.'

X Factor contestant dressed as a 'Y'.

Man takes a bow in the lamplight

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Just be yourself."

'They all want to play the star.'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

Modern Major General

Wolf Karaoke

Falstaff

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Scarpia from Tosca

The First Fire Stick

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

Mikado

Passed over at the Inaugural Poetry Audition

Woman crying with happiness.

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

"Does my bum look big in this aria?"