Special Agent T-Shirts

"Hello. We're from the Government, and we mean you no harm."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

Office of Homeland Security: Beware of Dog

CIA, 'Nothing much going on right now -- want to dig up some dirt on the FBI?'

CIA, 'Sorry, Ferguson, but you're out - I gave your job to Inspector Twelve.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles -- we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts'

CIA, 'Blast it! -- We shouldn't NEED a lost & found department!'

CIA, 'Nothing much going on right now -- want to dig up some dirt on the FBI?'

'This is Ferguson, one of our few unspecial agents.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

'I see you worked in government research - what kind?'

The Federal Witless Protection Program in action.

Pre historic undercover agents - "Hey, look here... This guy's been wired-up all along!"

The Anti-Agent

"Bond James, Bond."

James Bond in a Snow Globe

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

'We're looking for somebody to work on our new top secret project. Can you tell me what kind of experience you have?'

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

"Ok, I found a secure line."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

"With the fortune we have spent in technology, informers and spies around the world, how is it possible that you still haven't found where the heck is Wally?"

'Vital mission - movie parody'

"I've dabbled in espionage, but my main area of expertise is self-sabotage."

JAMES BONDING

"What you find 'boring' spies from all over the world would find extremely interesting."

Meet Santa's entourage

"Screw this—I'm going to work for the tabloids."

Snow White and her Seven people.

'Because I'm so sick of those movies, now go get me a romantic comedy.'

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.