Spatial Pioneer Gifts

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

A man looks up at the earth

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

"Let's f**k up Mars!"

Today, a special retro segment of The Fad Herald. It's the Fad Herald. Off the hook! Hey jive turkeys, here's what's not cool: Fossil fuels, dependence on Mideast oil, long gas lines. Here's what's groovy: Solar power, alternative fuels, energy independence. Can you dig? The world is changing, baby! Instead of solar panels, I'm buying a sweet 8-track player. Next week, a look ahead to 2040. What's out: Waiting in long lines to fill up the spacecraft with gas.

Den Furniture

"Take me to your thought leader."

"So how much money do you make?"

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"Sold his air rights."

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

'I call it 'Myspace'''

'Does a blog count as being published.'

'It's better than we expected. Now the sheep produce wool in the winter and cotton in the summer.'

Some Photography Tips For Your Vacation

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'

"Today we learned how to cross the ts and dot the coms."

"So did you do all your leadership training online?"

'Unfortunately, our entirely Twitter and Facebook based business model was a little ahead of its time!'

Four years ago during a special episode of the Ask Sadie™ Show, our resident octogenarian asked listeners for advice about how she can deal with her midlife crisis. Dear Sadie, I was going to suggest you start a YouTube channel to share your advice with younger people. But YouTube just stabbed its content creators in the back. They stopped showing ads on videos discussing anything even remotely controversial. That's going to put so many important voices out of business. So I don't really have an

"I always knew I was cutting edge - I've gone cashless my entire life."

'Artificial intelligence is overrated. We find most people prefer the user-friendly advantage of artificial stupidity.'

Only in the newspapers.

"Why won’t you just admit you forgot where you parked the car?"

"Maybe this is a good time to sign up for the online version of this newspaper."

Life Discovered on Mars

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

Drawing graphs on a computer.

"Beats me. He says he's playing e-sports for cryptocurrency."

'And that's how we discovered curly genes, or, as Dr. Crick insists on calling them, 'DNA'.'

'I wrote a program that generates random conspiracy theories.'