Space Style Pioneer Gifts

"Wait? I thought it was a 'look'?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"No, you're in the Milky Way galaxy."

"I used to want to be an astronaut, but now I think I'd rather be a billionaire space tourist."

A man looks up at the earth

"Like my new haircut?"

'She dressed herself this morning.'

Leaving a Real Impression: That's one small step for (a) man, one giant leap for mankind.

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

'This was designed for people who have mastered easy chairs and want to attempt something more difficult.'

"Take me to your thought leader."

"Sold his air rights."

Moon Souvenirs

'He doesn't seem to like my haircut.'

"It's expensive because it connects to the internet."

"Anyone who laughs at my new haircut will be subjected to immediate termination."

'Welcome home, dear. While you were away I redecorated...'

'I've developed the space tie and the space bowtie to go with the spacesuit.'

"Would you believe I can still fit into my tux after eighteen years?"

Sunglasses - Perfect for normal sun, white dwarfs, red giants.

"Sadie, they found a planet orbiting Proxima Centauri. That makes way over 1,000 planets we've discovered in my lifetime." "It must be exciting for you, discovering there are 1,000 worlds full of people who can't possibly know what a doofus you are." "...Unless they've got telescopes." "It is exciting. Now I know how you must've felt when Oog the Caveman discovered Venus." "I see you're bringing what passes for your 'A-game' today."

Only in the newspapers.

Life Discovered on Mars

"I finally figured out what was causing my backache. You know that fancy modern office furniture I ordered a few weeks back? I just realized. I've been sitting on the wastebasket."

'...and all of our power suits come with a complimentary surge protector.'

"With all this wearable tech, I wish they'd come up with a smart belt."

"You're not even dressed?"

"It's powered by clean hydroelectricity from Norwegian fjords and built from 100% recycled shopping bags. We call it the Smugmobile!"

"I knew there would be a time I could wear them without destroying my feet."

'They turned down our request for a grant.'

Billionaires in space!

Private Commercial Spacecraft: 'Hi there! I'll bet you'll be wanting to buy some oxygen!'

'I think of it as mending pants, not splicing jeans.'

"This is a lovely new color just sent back by the Mars rover."