Sparkling Wines Pillows

"Bubbles, huh? Call it what you want...it's still just gas."

In the Guru District

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'A cheeky red?'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"And for my next trick. . . turning wine back into water."

Sauvignon Bonk

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

Bacchus.

'... And this is my cellar.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Bubbly

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Go ahead. Press one for more options."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

"Why did we run out of wine?! I'll tell you why...Mary's son brought 12 of his friends who crashed the wedding party! That's why!"

'One more for me an Tiffany, and one more for you and the road.'

'You sent your wife to get a bottle of wine from the wine cellar? Your jet doesn't have a wine cellar.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'Note to self: Like coffee, homemade coffee wine should be available in decaf, too.'

"I make it myself!"

Champagne

"He gets easily abstracted."

"Grapes, Rye, Malt... I got into this through my vegetarianism."

"Honestly, Paula, I don't know what I'd do without our daily keggers."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"I only need shade for my wine."

How to correctly estimate cooking time