Sparkling Sipper Pillows

'You know, I always buy supermarket cava rather than fancy Champagne, and I challenge anyone to tell the difference.'

Wine Shop. Would you like the champagne or the cold duck? Give us the bottled waddle.

Happy 18th Birthday champagne

"I tried sparkling once, but it just gave me a headache."

Guy at drink stand says to Medium: 'Medium?'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

We'll have Manhattans...

Sparkling Water

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"I forget to drink."

"...Stop complaining if it wasn't for the mosquitoes you wouldn't get any exercise at all!"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'We're drinking to our round of golf...one shot at a time.'

"Getting drunk grilling lettuce just isn't the same."

"I'll have the usual."

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

'Enjoying a snifter of brandy by the fire...'

The Stumble Inn Bar & Grill

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

Anton's Bar and Grill

A very fine vintage

Lemonade without borders.

'Ah, 'man's best friend' and it's brought by a dog.'

'I'm not as think as you drunk I am.'

'If you're into preparing healthy meals then I recommend the apricot brandy. It contains the antioxidant beta carotene.'

"Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here."

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

"Wine not?"

Can I get you another coffee?

'Boozer's Week.'

Scariest Tactics

I say when life hands you a lemon, make lemonade