Spanish Cinema Gifts

"Bond James, Bond."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

Benedict Cumberbatch

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

Herman Mankiewicz

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Would you sit and watch a 12 hour movie?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

No-Work Orange

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Horror movies

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

Comedy Cafe

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Stand-up Romcom

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Godzillla eating people using telephone poles as chopsticks.

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I'm sorry, we're looking for the voice of a spunky animated turnip and your reading is more fruit than vegetable if you understand what I mean."

'There's nothing on.'

"Bloody hell!"

"Hugh fans!"

'Play it again, Sam.'

Applause